Talking to Children about cancer

Talking to children and teenagers about cancer can be challenging. We have some tips to help you through the conversation.

Why talking can help

Trying to protect children from difficult news, worry and distress is natural. You may have concerns that delay or stop you explaining what is happening.

You may feel it will bring home the reality of the situation, when you are still struggling to come to terms with it yourself. But not explaining what is happening may make them feel more vulnerable.

Children often know when something serious is affecting the family and people they are close to. It is important to give them the chance to talk openly about their fears and worries.

The benefits of talking

There are many benefits to being open and involving children and teenagers:

  • Knowing what is going on may make them feel more secure and less anxious.
  • It gives them permission to talk – they can ask questions, say how they feel and talk openly to you.
  • It shows you trust them and that you do not feel you need to guard what you say all the time.
  • It can make you all feel closer – your children can help support you, and you can help support them.
  • It might help them cope better with difficult situations in life.

The effects of not talking

Wanting to protect children from difficult news is natural. But if you do not talk to them, they may:

  • feel frightened because they do not know what is going on
  • feel alone with lots of worries and no one to talk to
  • worry that something they have done or thought has caused the cancer
  • think they are not important enough to be included
  • imagine something worse than the reality
  • misunderstand situations and get the wrong idea about what is happening.

Preparing to tell your children

You will probably need time to cope with your own feelings before talking to your children. You might want to speak to your nurse specialist or a psychologist or counsellor before talking to your children. Try to talk to them before they pick up on things and start to worry.

Be as prepared as you can. Make sure you have all the information you need and that you understand it. You may want to think about the questions a child might ask and the words you will use to explain things.

Who should tell them?

If you are a two-parent family, it is usually best to tell your children with the other parent. But this can depend on how you usually talk as a family.

If you are a single parent, you may feel able to, and want to, do it on your own. Or you could do it with someone close who your child knows and trusts. You could also ask your nurse specialist or a psychologist or counsellor to be there.

Even if you are not doing the telling, you may want to be there so you know what is being said and how the child has reacted. However, some parents do prefer not to be there themselves. You should do whatever feels right to you.

Choosing the right time and place

There may be places where you and your children feel more able to talk. Make sure it is somewhere they will feel able to express their feelings.

If you have more than one child, it is best to tell them together if you can. This prevents them feeling like their siblings know more than them. If you are telling them separately, do it as close together as possible. Some children may wonder why they were told last.

Try to avoid only telling the older children, as this can place a burden on them.

How to tell your children

As a parent, you are the expert when it comes to your child. You know the best way of communicating with them, how they might react and what support they will need. Here are some things to think about:

  • See the first conversation as a starting point – it is the beginning of an ongoing process of gradually giving your children small, relevant pieces of information and reassurance.
  • Allow the conversation to be directed by your children’s reactions and the questions they ask.
  • Listen and keep it as open as you can.
  • Try asking questions that encourage them to express what they are thinking, rather than a one word or two-word reply.

Being honest

It is best to be honest with children. If they think you are being vague or hiding something, they may find it hard to believe they are being told the truth. Do not make things sound less serious than they are.

It is fine to say you don’t know if you cannot answer all their questions. Tell them you will try to find out and will tell them when you know.

Teenagers may react differently from younger children or adults when they are told a parent has cancer. They may ask for more information about the diagnosis and what it means for family life. They may also need more time to work through their feelings.

Having the conversation

You will need to use words your children will understand. These will vary depending on their ages. Here are some tips to help you through the conversation:

  • Find out what they know and explain anything they have misunderstood.
  • Use simple, clear language and short sentences.
  • Keep information relevant to the current situation, rather than things that may happen in the future.
  • Be prepared for them to react in their own way, and ask them if there is anything else they want to know.
  • Explain how their lives and routines may be affected.
  • Repeat the information for younger children, especially those under seven, as they may not take it all in or understand.

Explaining cancer

Children need some information about the name of the cancer, where it is in the body and how it will be treated.

Teenagers in particular may look for information about cancer on the internet.

Teenagers may know what cancer is from experience. They may have been taught about it at school or have a friend with cancer. You could talk to them about what they know if you think that would help.

Important points to tell them

Children, particularly those under 10 years old, often worry about things like causing the cancer or catching it. Children need reassurance that:

  • nothing they did or thought caused the cancer
  • cancer is not like a cold and you cannot catch it – it is okay to sit close, hug or kiss
  • there will always be someone to take care of them
  • they can always ask you questions and talk to you about how they feel
  • you will listen to their worries and try to help them cope.

Children’s understanding and emotional reactions can depend on how old they are. They are usually able to understand more about illness as they get older, but this depends on the child.

We have more information about how children may react at different ages.

Children with learning disabilities

Children with learning disabilities can find change hard. Remember to explain any possible changes in routines and prepare them for any physical changes that you might go through. It is likely that they will cope better with the changes if you are honest with them.

The National Autistic Society has more information on helping children prepare for change.

Who else needs to know about your cancer

You will usually want to tell your close family and other adults who your children know and trust.

It can be helpful to have a conversation with your children about who else needs to know, for example a teacher, club leaders or their friends’ parents. Older children may have strong feelings about who should or should not know.

It is a good idea to let nursery or school teachers and the school nurse know. It will mean that they can be sensitive to your child’s needs, and will help them understand any unusual or difficult behaviour.

At school, college or university

If you have an older child or teenager, they may not want to be seen as different from their friends. But it is important that certain people know and can be there to support them if they need it.

Teenagers may be facing exams or coursework at school, college or university. Teachers or staff can offer support, and they may notice issues or behaviours that are not always apparent at home.

Source: Macmillen

Our Covid Support service.

When lock down hit us in March 2020 we were inundated with requests from our cancer fighters up and down the country.

Our families were rightly concerned about this new pandemic. It was another danger to their already stressed lives.

From day one these families were shielding and not allowed out for groceries.

To answer their requests for help we immediately started food deliveries.

We purchased and supplied food deliveries week on week to hundreds of families.

We also had donations from our friends at BTC Rally and Son and Daughter Washing Services. Which were a great addition.

We have supplied deliveries up to the day shielding ended and beyond to those still to scared to go out.

Even though shielding has ended we are still here to help if any cancer fighting families need our help with food deliveries. Just get in touch.

Exciting new BTC Football team Merchandise that raises funds for the teams!!

Thanks to the brilliant ProSportsGFX our football teams have some fantastic items that you can buy to not only support the team but actually raises funds for them for much needed equipment and kit.

So if you want to raise money for the men’s team shop HERE

And if you want to raise funds for the women’s team shop HERE

Here’s some of the great items available….

Meet the Balls to Cancer mens team

Please meet the Balls to cancer mens team for 20/21…..

The Team are sponsored by Daughter and Son Washing services.

As the new season starts its time to start introducing the squad for 20/21 old and new faces amongst them

First up is an old face of the Btc family but newly appointed manager of Balls To Cancer FC
Larry Adeyanju is the new manager , who has taken over for the new approaching season. He’s got the team training and playing well and looking to take BTC to the next level
Larry is sponsored for this season by Abigail Davis

Second person to be introduced for Balls To Cancer FC for the 20/21 season
Scott Patterson btc new goalkeeper for the squad . A well developed player in goalkeeper position who is looking forward to joining us.
Scott is sponsored this season by Sparta Goalkeeping

Our 3rd signing for the new season is Theo Brown, an old face to the Balls To Cancer FC team. When not playing on the pitch offers loads of encouragement from the sidelines.
Glad to have you back this season.
Theo is Sponsored for the season 20/21 by Angela Powell(Az Washing)
Thank you for the support

The fourth signing of the season 20/21 is Chris Weston aka Skip and old face to Balls To Cancer FC . A very vocal player on and off the pitch , you always know he is around. Good to see him back again this season
Chris is sponsored this 20/21 season by @Vicky Cunliffe
Thank you for your support

Our 5th signing of the season is another old face to Balls To Cancer FC.
Mitch Pinson stepped up to be assistant manager for the new season. Good to have you back for another season
Mitch is sponsored for the 20/21 season by Mark Pinson
Thank you for your support

The 6th player to sign for btc this season is Nathan Gutteridge another old face from btc from last season. Gives his full efforts on the pitch. Welcome back Nathan.
Nathan is sponsored for the 20/21 season by Charlotte and Sam Marsland
Thank you for your support

Next up for the signings is Lucian Fearon. Another old face for btc, welcome back.Lucian always pops up on the pitch where everyone least expects it.
Lucian is sponsored by our very own JB.
Thank you for the support

Our next signing is Ryan Thomas, an old face with BTC . Glad to have him signing again this season.
Ryan is Sponsored for the 20/21 season by Tina and Dean Thomas
Thank you for your support

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Our next signing is James Miles, another of BTC old faces returning to the team.
James is Sponsored for the 20/21 season by Sarah Millward
Thank you for your support

The next to sign for BTC is a new face to join the team and that’s Callum. Welcome to the team. Callum is Sponsored this 20/21 season by someone that wants to remain anonymous

Another signing for us is the young Josh Howard. The youngest player we have to date , an enthusiastic player and can always be seen where the ball is.
Josh has been sponsored for the 20/21 season by Charlotte and Sam Marsland
Thank you for your support

Our next signing is a new face to Btc.Fc. Welcome Liam Magee to the squad. Liam is looking forward to joining the squad for the season 20/21

What can I say about our next signing. Another old face to btc John Roberts who was with us last season, missed when not on the pitch, can always hear his voice over everyone else shouting encouragement out to everyone always gets stuck in and running around the pitch. Glad to have you back

Time to talk about the prostate cancer risk in black men and what we can do about it

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men in the UK.  Although it affects all men, black men are 2-3 times more likely to develop this cancer than their white counterparts.  The death rate is twice as high.  Furthermore, black men are more likely to develop prostate cancer at a younger age.

It is essential that black men, in particular, know about their increased risk of prostate cancer.

Why it is more common is unknown; there is much research worldwide to discover the reason.

Every black man over the age of 45 years is eligible to have the blood test, called PSA (prostate specific antigen) from their GP.  All he need do is to request one from the GP and have a discussion about it.  Every GP in the land has been sent a document called the Prostate Cancer Risk Management Programme, which says that men, even with no urinary symptoms, can have a PSA on request.  There are some limitations of the blood test which the GP can point out.  For example, a raised PSA (above 3 units) does not necessarily mean that there is prostate cancer.  There are other reasons why a PSA may be raised.

More often than not, prostate cancer in its early and therefore curable stage does not present with symptoms, hence the importance of the blood test.  Some men will have urinary symptoms, such as a slow urinary stream or passing urine frequently, or getting up at night, or having to get to the toilet in a hurry.  These do not mean the man has prostate cancer.  Far more common is an enlarged prostate gland that occurs as men age.  However, as these symptoms are indistinguishable from those of prostate cancer, they should be checked out by a health care professional.

Black men face an increased risk of prostate cancer so a lack of urinary symptoms, should not be the basis for refusing to conduct a PSA test.

It is also worth noting that prostate cancer can run in families.  So, if a first-degree relative, such as a father or brother, has prostate cancer, your risk is doubled.  A family history of prostate cancer is therefore a reason for asking for a PSA blood test.  A digital rectal examination is off-putting for many men.  However, it can detect a problem with the prostate gland even where the PSA is normal.  However, the PSA is more useful.  Men should at least have the blood test even though they may decline the rectal examination (which is the only way of feeling the prostate).

A suspicion of prostate cancer, whether on account of an abnormal blood PSA or an abnormal feeling prostate on rectal examination, will lead to an urgent referral to see an urologist.  Further tests include a MRI scan and a biopsy of the prostate gland.  A biopsy is where samples of the prostate gland are taken and analysed in the laboratory for signs of cancer.

If cancer is diagnosed, keeping an eye on it may be advised as many prostate cancers will never cause a problem (‘active surveillance’).  If there is more than a minimal amount of cancer a more aggressive treatment may be recommended, such as surgery or radiotherapy.

The success rate of treatment is very high when prostate cancer is detected early.  Even if the disease has spread (called metastasized) there are good treatment options, if not necessarily curative.

In summary, black men are at increased risk of prostate cancer.  I would urge all black men over 45 years old or even younger if someone in the family has had prostate cancer, to get themselves a PSA blood test from their GP.  The cure rate is very high when the disease is found early. This Men’s Health Week I’m urging everyone to talk about prostate cancer, and prostate cancer in black men and their family background

Aarons Story

My Story starts at the age of 17, I was a carefree teenager who never ever got ill, It was 2004 and the year before I had enjoyed a wonderful family holiday in Australia & was also settling into my first job.

Until June 2014 when my life flipped upside down, I noticed a lump in my shorts, At first I ignored it unaware of what it was, In those days I played a lot of sport and merely put it down to a sporting injury.

A few weeks past without a sign of it clearing up so I confided in my Mum who suggested I went to the doctor which in the end despite being embarrassed I reluctantly did.

My doctor was hopeful at first it looks like ‘You got water on your testicles’ He felt I had a condition called Hydrocele but sent me for a ultrasound scan in a nearby sports clinic.

The scan was done and I was instantly rushed back to the doctors, I felt that was a strange move but had no idea why. Once back at the doctors the news broke, ‘Aaron I’m sorry to have to tell you this you have Cancer’

I was stunned to silence unaware of what was happening, Nothing processed I had never been ill & now I was being told I had Cancer?

I was a very strong 17 year old and I battled my illness with positively. Yes I had a testicle removed at a young age but i took everything in my stride.

Cancer treatment followed in Mount Vernon hospital, My professor was a leader in the Testicular Cancer field Professor Rustin.

Where have all the cancer patients gone? Our ambassador Professor Karol Sikora warns delays in diagnoses could lead to thousands of needless deaths

Words by Professor Karol Sikora, Consultant Oncologist and Medical Director, Rutherford Cancer Centres and former Director of WHO Cancer Programme


Some 30,000 people each month are normally found to have cancer and around 450 a day sadly die from the disease. There are no peaks or troughs – just a flat line which refuses to budge.

But over the last three months the number of people diagnosed has fallen precipitously. My estimate is that less than a third of the expected number of patients have been diagnosed.

Several studies – one from Cancer Research UK, one from Kings College and yet another from University College suggest a similar number. So where are the missing patients and why does it matter?

Rates of cancer in this country haven’t just dropped off a cliff, the disease will be growing, undetected, in thousands of people. They’re just not being diagnosed.

Frankly, I’m astounded more hasn’t been done. The whole reason I got involved in the coronavirus debate was to stand up for the forgotten cancer patients, everything I feared back then has happened, perhaps even worse than I imagined. 

Cancer doesn’t care about pandemics – it has its own very different agenda, it’s the unseen enemy within.

The causes of cancer are multiple, but the result is the same – the subversion of the growth control processes of a cell. The rogue cells multiply and spread beyond the confines of the organ in which they arose. Breast, colon, prostate and lung are the four commonest sites, but all organs can be affected.

Spread of cancer by a process called metastasis (from Greek meaning change of place) is lethal. Cancer cells can grow outside the organ from which they arose spreading via the lymphatic system and blood to lungs, liver, brain and bone. They leave a trail of destruction which eventually kills. 

We do have effective therapies – surgery, radiotherapy, chemotherapy and immune treatments but they all work best when the disease is localised.

Delay makes spread more likely and so the outcome of treatment will be significantly poorer. It also means that optimal care will be longer, more challenging and result in more side effects.

So here we are nearly four months into the pandemic and the numbers of new cancer patients are still frighteningly low. 

The numbers of patients consulting with GPs are slowly climbing but not nearly quick enough, continued delays in the diagnostic pathway, difficulties in scheduling surgery. So tens of thousands of people aren’t being diagnosed, and many of those who do find they aren’t getting treatment as quickly as they should.

At the start of the pandemic I would always talk in hypothetical terms about cancer, sadly it’s no longer a possibility, it’s happening.

The delays are inevitably causing upward stage migration in many patients. I’ve had far too many difficult conversations about a patient’s prognosis with them, I expect to have many more over the coming months.

There are lots of concerns around a second wave of coronavirus, and the country is rightly preparing for that but my concern is a tsunami of cancer, cardiac and other patients with serious illnesses who have been neglected the last few months.

For cancer, I expect it will come around September. If we aren’t ready the dam will burst with catastrophic effects.

My concern is a tsunami of cancer, cardiac and other patients with serious illnesses who have been neglected the last few months. Professor Karol Sikora

The backlog of cancer cases due to Covid-19 will require an emergency national response similar to the response to Covid-19 itself to prevent a full-blown health crisis in the coming months.

The stage migration of cancer with poorer outcomes was somewhat inevitable but the figures are worse than I anticipated.

So how do we fix it? We need solutions. 

  • 1. We need to make cancer centres around the country as secure as possible. Weekly testing for staff, temperature checks at the door, being ultra-cautious in the building.
  • 2. Use all available capacity. The independent sector in this country has the capability to treat tens of thousands of patients. My network, the Rutherford Cancer Centres, has increased our collaboration with the NHS over the last few months and patients who may have otherwise missed treatment received it safely at our centres. The capacity is there – let’s use it.
  • 3. Carefully monitor biopsies to predict the surge. We need to know when it will be all hands on deck so we can properly prepare. Oncologists are going to be very busy for a considerable amount of time.
  • 4. Even embracing all available capacity, it still won’t be enough. Prioritisation of patients will be needed, and sadly for patients for whom it is safe to wait that may be needed to ensure the most urgent cases are dealt with.
  • 5. Finally, weekend and evening shifts for staff. It would be wrong for machines to lie empty whilst patients are not receiving the care they need.  Within reason, we’re all going to have to make an extra effort.

We desperately need to find a balance between fear and caution. When people are too frightened to get a persistent symptom checked out for fear of catching the virus, we must have gone wrong somewhere. Of course everyone needs to be careful, but leaving a symptom unchecked could be a deadly mistake.

Back at the start of this pandemic I wrote for ITV Newstrying to sound the alarm. I wasn’t listened to and we are now seeing the consequences.

I’ve tried to steer away from apocalyptic predictions for good reason, but I will make my own now. Unless something drastically changes and quickly, in a few years we will look back in horror at the number of people we lost needlessly to cancer. People have suggested 35,000 fatalities, I suspect it could be far higher. 


An spokesperson for the NHS said: “More than 350,000 people received an urgent hospital check and 65,000 people started treatment for cancer through the peak of the pandemic, and after an entirely appropriate and necessary pausing of some screening and treatments to protect patients from the risk of the virus, the NHS is taking urgent action to increase the number of tests and treatment carried out so that more people are able to be seen quickly and safely.

“The critical point remains that anyone with a possible symptom should come forward for a check-up with their GP as they normally would.”

Source: ITV.com

BTC Football Fans Can Wear The Kit!

We are very pleased to announce the launch of our replica football shirts.

Not only do we have the home shirt but also the away, goalkeeper, hoodie, coat, tee shirts etc…. all supplied by the brilliant Sportybits.co.uk

Anything you purchase gets a donation made to BTC so not only are you supporting the team but also the charity.

Take a look at the range here