We are very happy to announce that Amazon have added us to their Smile account system. This allows you our supporters to buy from Amazon as usual but they will make a donation to our charity for every purchase!
It costs you nothing extra but you do need to shop though their Smile website here so please before you buy think about using Smile and help us raise money without costing you a penny.
Talking to children and teenagers about cancer can be challenging. We have some tips to help you through the conversation.
Why talking can help
Trying to protect children from difficult news, worry and distress is natural. You may have concerns that delay or stop you explaining what is happening.
You may feel it will bring home the reality of the situation, when you are still struggling to come to terms with it yourself. But not explaining what is happening may make them feel more vulnerable.
Children often know when something serious is affecting the family and people they are close to. It is important to give them the chance to talk openly about their fears and worries.
The benefits of talking
There are many benefits to being open and involving children and teenagers:
Knowing what is going on may make them feel more secure and less anxious.
It gives them permission to talk – they can ask questions, say how they feel and talk openly to you.
It shows you trust them and that you do not feel you need to guard what you say all the time.
It can make you all feel closer – your children can help support you, and you can help support them.
It might help them cope better with difficult situations in life.
The effects of not talking
Wanting to protect children from difficult news is natural. But if you do not talk to them, they may:
feel frightened because they do not know what is going on
feel alone with lots of worries and no one to talk to
worry that something they have done or thought has caused the cancer
think they are not important enough to be included
imagine something worse than the reality
misunderstand situations and get the wrong idea about what is happening.
Preparing to tell your children
You will probably need time to cope with your own feelings before talking to your children. You might want to speak to your nurse specialist or a psychologist or counsellor before talking to your children. Try to talk to them before they pick up on things and start to worry.
Be as prepared as you can. Make sure you have all the information you need and that you understand it. You may want to think about the questions a child might ask and the words you will use to explain things.
Who should tell them?
If you are a two-parent family, it is usually best to tell your children with the other parent. But this can depend on how you usually talk as a family.
If you are a single parent, you may feel able to, and want to, do it on your own. Or you could do it with someone close who your child knows and trusts. You could also ask your nurse specialist or a psychologist or counsellor to be there.
Even if you are not doing the telling, you may want to be there so you know what is being said and how the child has reacted. However, some parents do prefer not to be there themselves. You should do whatever feels right to you.
Choosing the right time and place
There may be places where you and your children feel more able to talk. Make sure it is somewhere they will feel able to express their feelings.
If you have more than one child, it is best to tell them together if you can. This prevents them feeling like their siblings know more than them. If you are telling them separately, do it as close together as possible. Some children may wonder why they were told last.
Try to avoid only telling the older children, as this can place a burden on them.
How to tell your children
As a parent, you are the expert when it comes to your child. You know the best way of communicating with them, how they might react and what support they will need. Here are some things to think about:
See the first conversation as a starting point – it is the beginning of an ongoing process of gradually giving your children small, relevant pieces of information and reassurance.
Allow the conversation to be directed by your children’s reactions and the questions they ask.
Listen and keep it as open as you can.
Try asking questions that encourage them to express what they are thinking, rather than a one word or two-word reply.
It is best to be honest with children. If they think you are being vague or hiding something, they may find it hard to believe they are being told the truth. Do not make things sound less serious than they are.
It is fine to say you don’t know if you cannot answer all their questions. Tell them you will try to find out and will tell them when you know.
Teenagers may react differently from younger children or adults when they are told a parent has cancer. They may ask for more information about the diagnosis and what it means for family life. They may also need more time to work through their feelings.
Having the conversation
You will need to use words your children will understand. These will vary depending on their ages. Here are some tips to help you through the conversation:
Find out what they know and explain anything they have misunderstood.
Use simple, clear language and short sentences.
Keep information relevant to the current situation, rather than things that may happen in the future.
Be prepared for them to react in their own way, and ask them if there is anything else they want to know.
Explain how their lives and routines may be affected.
Repeat the information for younger children, especially those under seven, as they may not take it all in or understand.
Children need some information about the name of the cancer, where it is in the body and how it will be treated.
Teenagers in particular may look for information about cancer on the internet.
Teenagers may know what cancer is from experience. They may have been taught about it at school or have a friend with cancer. You could talk to them about what they know if you think that would help.
Important points to tell them
Children, particularly those under 10 years old, often worry about things like causing the cancer or catching it. Children need reassurance that:
nothing they did or thought caused the cancer
cancer is not like a cold and you cannot catch it – it is okay to sit close, hug or kiss
there will always be someone to take care of them
they can always ask you questions and talk to you about how they feel
you will listen to their worries and try to help them cope.
Children’s understanding and emotional reactions can depend on how old they are. They are usually able to understand more about illness as they get older, but this depends on the child.
We have more information about how children may react at different ages.
Children with learning disabilities
Children with learning disabilities can find change hard. Remember to explain any possible changes in routines and prepare them for any physical changes that you might go through. It is likely that they will cope better with the changes if you are honest with them.
The NationalAutistic Society has more information on helping children prepare for change.
Who else needs to know about your cancer
You will usually want to tell your close family and other adults who your children know and trust.
It can be helpful to have a conversation with your children about who else needs to know, for example a teacher, club leaders or their friends’ parents. Older children may have strong feelings about who should or should not know.
It is a good idea to let nursery or school teachers and the school nurse know. It will mean that they can be sensitive to your child’s needs, and will help them understand any unusual or difficult behaviour.
At school, college or university
If you have an older child or teenager, they may not want to be seen as different from their friends. But it is important that certain people know and can be there to support them if they need it.
Teenagers may be facing exams or coursework at school, college or university. Teachers or staff can offer support, and they may notice issues or behaviours that are not always apparent at home.
Please meet the Balls to cancer mens team for 20/21…..
The Team are sponsored by Daughter and Son Washing services.
As the new season starts its time to start introducing the squad for 20/21 old and new faces amongst them
First up is an old face of the Btc family but newly appointed manager of Balls To Cancer FC Larry Adeyanju is the new manager , who has taken over for the new approaching season. He’s got the team training and playing well and looking to take BTC to the next level Larry is sponsored for this season by Abigail Davis
Second person to be introduced for Balls To Cancer FC for the 20/21 season Scott Patterson btc new goalkeeper for the squad . A well developed player in goalkeeper position who is looking forward to joining us. Scott is sponsored this season by Sparta Goalkeeping
Our 3rd signing for the new season is Theo Brown, an old face to the Balls To Cancer FC team. When not playing on the pitch offers loads of encouragement from the sidelines. Glad to have you back this season. Theo is Sponsored for the season 20/21 by Angela Powell(Az Washing) Thank you for the support
The fourth signing of the season 20/21 is Chris Weston aka Skip and old face to Balls To Cancer FC . A very vocal player on and off the pitch , you always know he is around. Good to see him back again this season Chris is sponsored this 20/21 season by @Vicky Cunliffe Thank you for your support
Our 5th signing of the season is another old face to Balls To Cancer FC. Mitch Pinson stepped up to be assistant manager for the new season. Good to have you back for another season Mitch is sponsored for the 20/21 season by Mark Pinson Thank you for your support
The 6th player to sign for btc this season is Nathan Gutteridge another old face from btc from last season. Gives his full efforts on the pitch. Welcome back Nathan. Nathan is sponsored for the 20/21 season by Charlotte and Sam Marsland Thank you for your support
Next up for the signings is Lucian Fearon. Another old face for btc, welcome back.Lucian always pops up on the pitch where everyone least expects it. Lucian is sponsored by our very own JB. Thank you for the support
Our next signing is Ryan Thomas, an old face with BTC . Glad to have him signing again this season. Ryan is Sponsored for the 20/21 season by Tina and Dean Thomas Thank you for your support
Our next signing is James Miles, another of BTC old faces returning to the team. James is Sponsored for the 20/21 season by Sarah Millward Thank you for your support
The next to sign for BTC is a new face to join the team and that’s Callum. Welcome to the team. Callum is Sponsored this 20/21 season by someone that wants to remain anonymous
Another signing for us is the young Josh Howard. The youngest player we have to date , an enthusiastic player and can always be seen where the ball is. Josh has been sponsored for the 20/21 season by Charlotte and Sam Marsland Thank you for your support
Our next signing is a new face to Btc.Fc. Welcome Liam Magee to the squad. Liam is looking forward to joining the squad for the season 20/21
What can I say about our next signing. Another old face to btc John Roberts who was with us last season, missed when not on the pitch, can always hear his voice over everyone else shouting encouragement out to everyone always gets stuck in and running around the pitch. Glad to have you back
The Ladies team are sponsored by Daughter And Son Washing Services, Davies Domestic Appliances and X21 Clothing
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